The latest statistics show that nearly 25 percent of men admit to having an affair. Although acts of infidelity cause permanent, long-term (and sometimes irreparable) damage to a relationship, there is usually a reason for men to cheat. While a “reason” does not and cannot excuse the affair, understanding what might lead a man to cheat can certainly help women deal with the aftermath. In some cases, a further understanding might even help avoid being victimized at all.

One of the things we need to understand about relationships is what makes them tick. While a full review of the commitment motivators in a relationship is outside the scope of this article, there are some quick, clear basics. First off, both men and women come to expect attention in a relationship. Regardless of how well you cook or how much money you earn, stop paying attention to your partner and chances are high that they will stray. With this in mind, too much attention can also push a partner away (maybe not to cheat, however).

Admiration is the next basic commitment motivators. While both spouses share this need, the man usually has a greater need for admiration. When a woman’s admiration for her husband dies (or fades considerably), the man will have a heightened sensitivity to the admiration of another woman. Of course, admiration can present itself in a variety of ways and does not suggestion a woman should transform herself into a dedicated slave to her husband’s every need. Instead, the absence of nagging or complaining can enhance existing signs of admiration.

So, when a man cheats, what does that mean? Some introspection is in order; have we provided the proper amount of admiration, respect, and attention? A good question considering that cheating men will claim victimized by their wife’s lack of admiration, attention, and respect. So, if men felt that they received the right amount of these, would they stop cheating?

It seems unlikely that affairs could ever disappear entirely. Men might cheat simply because they understand just how loyal wives are in general (in comparison to men, only 14% of women admit to having an affair). In fact, women are usually so loyal to their men that they are unlikely to leave after their partner admits to an affair provided that the partner expresses a need for the woman. Blame it on motherly instinct, but women are seen as more forgiving (and, let’s face it, with divorce numbers as high they are, forgiveness is a trait we can all learn).

Now, forgiveness should not be synonymous with tolerance. Rather, awareness should play a role in keeping spouses together and eliminating the need for men to feel they must seek admiration, respect, and attention elsewhere. While no relationship is perfect, most can be made much better with a rather small investment of effort. Remember; Attention (spend more time with your spouse, take an interest in their lives). Admiration (show appreciation for the things your spouse contributes to your relationship, to your life, even if they are not done perfectly or to your standard). And, finally, Respect (understand that your spouse is an emotional being and has certain expectations for respect).